mybestkungfu's Diaryland Diary


family day

the parentals � sister included - dropped by for the weekend.
true Guevarra fashion - less than 24 hours notice.

my parents are intelligent people.
my mom was playing piano in an orchestra by the time she was 5.
Scholarships up the butt.
My dad could melt down silver cutlery and use them as bullets by the time he was 16.
They met during a civil war working in a hospital in some Asian country.
They were saving lives.

But jesus, try to get them to do everyday things.
Like play a board game, communicate with each other,
Or admit that they have crap senses of direction.

We tried to play Clue.
How can you NOT get the concept of � if you roll a 5 on the die � you move 5 spaces?
Didn�t I just tell you to keep your cards to yourself?
DUDE, you can�t LIE in Clue!
At one point I blurted out �are you RETARDED?!�
And my dad is mispronouncing words � that I�ve
never known him to mispronounce.
How is it possible you can say �mucopolysaccharidosis� correctly but mispronounce �WATER�.

And they do this thing where they talk to me in stereo.
My father will start telling me something on my right hand side,
Then mom starts in on something completely different on my left.

Dad: �I gotta joke to tell you��
Mom: �can you show me directions to the nearest mall?� (we�re having dinner in half an hour)
Dad: �so these 3 women are in a women�s lib meeting..�
Mom: ��I just want to go for a walk�.

It�s not like they�re in different rooms � they�re standing 4 feet away from each other.

I can�t tell if they were always this way or I�ve avoided them for such long stretches that I haven�t noticed.

And right before they leave, mom gives me a video camera.
�Here,� she says, �You can have it�Michael can film at a certain angle when the baby is coming out so
it doesn�t show everything�.

how are you going to cut out my swearing then crying in the backgroud?

9:05 p.m. - Feb. 22, 2007


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