mybestkungfu's diary

mybestkungfu's Diaryland Diary

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'how to draw boobs'

after how many years of drawing, i've just googled 'how to draw boobs'. srsly. i've been trying to achieve this paperstyle drawing for years and it keeps looking like crap.

10:02 p.m. - Feb. 28, 2012

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money for nothing and gifts for free

i got my bonus at work, 10 grand - wo0-h0ot! I was expecting a quarter of that.
Christmas gifts throughout the company was a five hundred dollar gift card, a bottle of champagne, wine decanters, wine glasses etc. They acknowledged my year anniversary with the company and gave me more gift cards. In 5 months I will get my annual pay raise. i am still bemoaning having to work every (single damn) Friday but it's been a good trade.it could definitely be worse.
and i'm pretty satisfied with what i've accomplished and have learned here in the past year.
It has been good for this thing called my self esteem. i'm no longer a nube. i am becoming familiar with database management software. i'm doing grown up stuff like holding meetings with other suits. i AM a suit!
ok, i have one suit. but i should probably get more. i am feeling a little schlubby around the office.

as well, i have re-embraced my love for illustrating.
i've always been ambivalent about becoming an artist/ studying art. i've realized that i'm looking for
a certain kind of validation that only the job i currently have now can give me - where my improvement can be
measured and weighed and i can get feedback in terms of gifts and money. so i'm ok to bide my time here. after i prove myself to myself then maybe i can follow my hearts desire and make sculptures out of elephant shit.

10:16 p.m. - Jan. 31, 2012

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siyonara 2011

another year.
it's been balls actually, i'm glad it's over. i'm glad for the new opportunities for growth. i'm sad for the kick in the financial nuts. i'm looking forward to more growth in the New Year. BB's 5th birthday is in 2 short months. where did the time go?
we dropped the kids off at my parents for 3 days last week. on the final day i was on a roll sketching out ideas and plans. i realized it took me that long to acclimitize to the lack of constant chatter enough to focus on a task. it took Michael and I fifteen minutes to pack up to leave the house by ourselves.
with the kids, it takes us about 2 hours.

11:54 a.m. - Dec. 31, 2011

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barbarella

just come back from a 3 week vacation in the Philippines. totally hectic. will upload detailed entries later.
have been watching a lot of movies in the classic section of netflix. currently watching Barbarella. wow, Jane Fonda was a fox as a futuristic space girl. though i don't know if i should be watching this sober. i would probably enjoy the shag carpet lined spaceship more if - oh wait no - there are creepy dolls with fangs.
wtfbbq?

10:41 p.m. - Nov. 28, 2011

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babybash

my daughter's 3rd birthday party in 3 hours. why am i a stressball? it's only our friends. she's only 3. the theme is 'Purple' (her favourite colour and possibly more favourite than her family) and i, FREAKING OUT because the napkins, plates and flatware are not purple. i got them last minute. i should have started shopping earlier. like MONTHS earlier. i still have to fix her dress!! haven't picked up her cake. totally wrote off shampooing the rugs. in the efforts of not making things too purple - i don't think i made things PURPLE enough. things half undone all over the place. i'm a careless mother. might be drinking at this party. secretly in the pantry, by myself.

8:15 a.m. - Oct. 08, 2011

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TRAJECTORY

i have to say i'm pretty happy with my possible career trajectory at this company. that's right. i said career TRAJECTORY. i impressed someone at one of my interviews saying it (didn't get the job. overqualified) so now i just slip it in conversation whenever possible. i got a raise last month. finally broke 30 dollars an hour. i probably would be happier about it if i wasn't almost 40. and if people around me weren't making almost twice as much. or making 10 grand a month in passive income or living in Europe from investments or becoming lawyers or some other bullcrap. but whatever. i will catch up. it's just a matter of time and hardcore working-instead-of-surfing-the-net.

10:42 p.m. - Sept. 30, 2011

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is that a maggot in your pocket?..

we used to go to Wolf Creek when i was a kid and a couple of times we met this brother and sister who were fishing there. to this day i wonder where their parents were. but anyway my dad, uncles and the brother would stand out in the river in waders and fish and the girls would do whatever girl things � make mud pies, rock houses whatever on the shoreline. the boy didn�t have a tackle box or anything and they found out the brother kept the maggots in his mouth. it�s better if you think about it, the maggots don�t get cold and curl up into balls or die because it�s too cold. and they would probably get squished in your pockets anyway.
i just barfed inside my mouth thinking about it.

10:01 p.m. - Sept. 30, 2011

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freefall

sending photosubmissions.
last minute as per usual. yes i know it's a bit of a copout.

11:58 p.m. - Aug. 31, 2011

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housewife porn

we bit the bullet and bought a Roomba. because let's face it - we're not vacuum people. after 7 years together we have pretty much run out of excuses to not do it. i don't even know how long our old vacuum was broken.
so the thing did a surprisingly good job. the amount of filth it picked up was embarrassing.
they're right though. it doesn't really save you time - unless you're doing something else while the thing works insted of watching it.

11:36 p.m. - Jul. 31, 2011

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champs �lys�es

coming out of a NOFX concert. mainly for Michael's benefit. he caught the pick at the end. I got my hoody sleeve flushed down the toilet and couldn't get into the beer garden area because I didn't have picture ID. and i don't have picture I'd because my license expired and my renewal license isn't coming in the mail due to the mail strike.
and I turned 37 two weeks ago.
and still fat.

11:55 p.m. - Jun. 30, 2011

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gwoss

i've been working on a book. don't worry it's fiction. about zombies. for kids. or rather YA.
zombies are everywhere lately are they the next progression from vampires? i've started playing Warcraft (not WOW) but can't really get into it. it doesn't give me an option to re-arrange and decorate my encampment so i'm not quite hooked yet.
grossest thing today. i put SF in the bath and i put a movie on for BB in their room. i usually give them a bath together but one bath per kid goes WAY quicker and is less screamier than one bath with two kids in it.
i don't even get to where the towels are and i hear SF screaming. she screams about everything these days. her bangs in her eyes, ice-cream dripping, butterflies flying too close.
i walk back and i hear her going, 'mama, i pooped!'.
gdammit.
it was worse.
it was diarhea.
and she climbed halfway up the tub so she wasn't touching the water. but she almost stuck her hand back in as she remembered her plastic alligator (ah-geed-ah)in the poop water. i told her to leave it because it it was yucky. she was all, 'you get it'.
heck no.
'gwoss' she repeats, 'that's gwoss'.

12:11 a.m. - May. 31, 2011

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another exciting evening with the M's

what loser mom brings her babies to Chuck E Cheese's and closes it down on a Saturday night?
we just got home!
(i had to drop my mom off at the casino first).
ghetto.

11:51 p.m. - Apr. 30, 2011

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the 11th hour

spent the morning chilling with the offspring. walking to the stores. picking out clothes and books. they each got to pick a toy and i brought them their own reusable totes. picked up pizza on the walk back home. had an easy lunch and they both went down for naps.
when they woke up, nanny came back from her appt. and my son tells me, 'mama, you're not going back to work, you're staying here.'
i propped up their Winnie the Pooh fold-out couch in the bathroom while i cleaned the adjoining walk-in-closet. they watched 'Blues Clues' on my iPhone. i half-watched 'Splice' (Sarah Polley and Adrian BRody uncomfortable creature feature). they were brought snacks (strawberries, yogourt and juice) at their little couch and BB commented that there wasn't a table to put his drink on. when they started getting antsy, nanny took them for a walk, i finished the closet and started getting ready to meet Michael at the movies. fast forward 6 hours later and the babies are passed out. SF is in her room but she will amble over between 2 and 5 am as she always does and squeeze herself into the pile of bodies (usually BB will have made his way into our room too.) even Chewy has camped out here. my snowboarding jacket thrown over my overnight suitcase making for a nice padded pet mattress.
i won't mind work tomorrow. it will be pretty chill.

11:03 p.m. - Mar. 31, 2011

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stuff i

11:03 p.m. - Mar. 31, 2011

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new shit different pile

i have nothing important to bitch about except work. and i think the person that i'm to work with at support is mentally retarded. maybe really. his last job was at a helpdesk for 10 years. there isn't anything at a helpdesk that it takes you 10 years to outgrow.
and i'm getting easily pissed off which makes me silently hostile.
i guess if you're comfortable at your job and are satisfied with where you're at you just stay there. and from an employer's standpoint did they hire him because they wanted someone who wouldn't leave?
His troubleshooting skills are atrocious.
maybe i picked up some intolerance with the last crew.
he starts going off on tangents about cached pages and i am throwing daggers with my eyes.
though he's making me look good, i've been commended.
i'm trying to get into the mindset that this might be a learning disability which (i'm hoping) will make me more tolerant.

at the homefront i'm trying to keep up with all the shit that's threatening to fall out of my brain due to all the new stuff i'm learning at work.
in one weekend we missed 3 birthdays.
Michael wants to hang out with more people. i want to hang out with less.
i already am absent minded with the people we currently half-hang with.
maybe i'm just looking for an environment change.
i've been saying that for years though.
who knows, maybe something will fall in my lap if i remember to keep my eyes open.

11:11 p.m. - Feb. 11, 2011

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Happy New 2011

i landed a new job.
yay, me. finally out of entry level IT.
or more importantly, out of entry level IT income.
i am at home sick today though so hopefully i can catch up on the ever-mounting toDo list around the house.
i just woke up. and have to:
sort file cabinet, sort walk-in closet, sew pants, write short stories, illustrate shit.
i am currently watching 'the Walking Dead' premiere - it's a new series about zombies. this guy woke up in a hospital and everybody is dead around him. bodies wrapped in tarps, sign on the door saying don't unlock, dead inside. the first thing i would have done is grabbed a pair of slippers with all the glass he's got to be walking on. damn, it's pretty creepy.
but what an awesome idea. you don't have to pay for a lot of extras, the town is deserted, no crazy special effects, just a whole lot of introspection.

11:21 a.m. - Jan. 10, 2011

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