mybestkungfu's Diaryland Diary

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party like it's 2005

waited too long to write entries so a bit of what's
happened has eked out of me via my sweat.

i remember AJ getting his shoulder dislocated on the third day, that sweet Jorga Beyatch getting smoked in the forehead with her own board resulting in a perfect golf ball sized lump, hitting the surf museum and meeting surf legend of the 50's, Billy someone or other - who was surfing up until this year when he biffed on a jetski and had to get a hip replaced...

speaking of which, we tried to guess the instructor's ages but were all about 50 years off - as the sun had aged them all prematurely.

skipped surfing the third day to watch lawn bowling, camped on the 4th night at the beach - gad, it was roasting in that tent in the morning - but the view from the cliff was beautiful.
-and the peeing behind the shrubery - heavenly.


then finally - the last event of the last day - the friendly surf competition which was horrible, then fun, then horrible.

for the surf comp rules they gave us points for our 3 best waves caught in 10 minutes (that is a LONG ass time when you're out there paddling your arms off. and after you've gotten up and are riding the wave, you can get style points by adding combination moves such as:
the hang ten, the hang five, the headstand, the dead cockroach (flailing around on your back), etc. really, we were encouraged to look like the biggest morons possible.
extra points were added for running over:
- people who weren't supposed to be in the surf zone
(ie. swimmers - extra extrapoints were handed out for swimmers under 5).
- body boarders - otherwise dubbed 'speed bumps' or 'gays on trays'.
and extra extra points if you ran them over with your fins.

i made it first from my heat and which got me into the finals by doing a combination of surf tricks including - the buddha, the explorer and the swerve-last-minute-to-avoid-collision-with-child-in-floaty.


by the end round i was completley exhausted as i thought that the heats were the whole contest. in a last ditch attempt to score points, i stripped off my wetsuit, ran back into the surf, caught a white water, and while riding it to shore, mooned the beach. it didn't get me the winner's circle (or stool) in the end - but got honorable mentions. and in my defense, i did make it to the finalslegitimatley. and a couple of the instructors (one of whom was a woman) did compliment me on my surfing abilities from the first day. but my last thinly veiled tactic did not go unheeded by fellow opponents and thus i was unceremoniously dunked into the ocean for the second time that day.

after that fiasco, we hopped on the bus once more and headed for the legendary Byron Bay.

Byron Bay for New Years is wikked fun. all the roads in are closed down and everyone is on the streets. remember the Red Mile? picture that - except the whole town's in on it.


i may have mentioned that Aussies were hardcore drinkers. it was fairly easy going though - no psychos. apparantly only 1 guy had been thrown through a window during the festivities. aces.


so NYE was just about people milling about overdressed, underdressed (there is a time honoured tradition of going skinnydipping at midnight), small children blackmailing each other:
'i'm telling the cops - you're drunk, and you're 12'.


We got into town at 6:30, made a mad dash to our hostels and to sweet, sweet showers with a plan to meet at a diner called The Bus Stop. at about 9pm the 34 of us were encourage to leave (re. kicked out) of the diner (as clothes were coming off) so Mo(Michael) and i went back to the hostel. where we were encouraged to leave (see previous reason). so Mo and i went back to the main strip (haha) - and the diner was closed - but our group hadn't left. they were still hanging around - most fully clothed now - in various states of inebration.
i attempted to make normal conversation.
no go.
but i got a free belt.
Michael and i headed towards the beach and when the clock struck watched the fireworks.

incidentally, stay away from sticks that look like small citronella torches protruding from the sand. cause just when you've settled on the sand in the semi-darkness enjoying the fact that you're on a warm beach on New Years Eve - woulnd't you know it - they'll start exploding.


we left the beach soon after with the intention of getting more drinks (we had to buy alcohol in the small town before we got to Byron - because we were informed that Byron bottleshops were already OUT OF ALCOHOL . (have i mentioned hardcore?). But when we got to the hostel we made the mistake of lying down for a splitsecond. i can't remember falling asleep but i do recall a voice saying 'if we don't get up now - i'm going to pass out.'

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the next day was very relaxing. Byron Bay is a beautiful beachside town. did some light shopping and a lot of running on the beach harassing shellfish. i wish we would have another day to lounge but we had a 12 hour bus ride back home.


all in all in was a good trip. learned that surfing is as much about calculation as it is about sand and seawater in every orifice, all canadians aren't awesome, Hare Krishnas WILL not hesitate to punch you in the face if you attempt to board their parade float, and even dirty songs sound classy in french.

and THAT my dear friends - was that.

3:34 p.m. - Jan. 13, 2005

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