mybestkungfu's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- christopherian didn't sleep for 24 hours. pizza and doughnuts at 1 in the morning. basked in the sun after it was all done. dodging friends. dodging innuendos. made it home in a daze. mind kinda sketchy. fed yoshi. contemplated a soak in the Jacuzzi � sat in the shower instead. sat in the sun some more. woke up with a weird tan on my legs � you can see the line where my skirt ends, and my thighs start. passed out for a few hours on the couch. wondered if i didn�t hear the doorbell ring? I only hoped there wasn�t a breach of protocols. met up for coffee with my shrink. my shrinking ambivalence. thank you for the free ride on the mind bender. pastries and pineapple-orange juice (no vodka baby). the search for the one � among the many. about appreciation? it�s NICE to appreciate the things that people do for you � things that they bring out in you � make you feel � blah. blah. but sometimes it comes down to you asking yourself whether you ENJOY being here. whether here is where you�d rather be � over anywhere else. it�s not about the inner turmoil. you�ve already made your decision. you already know what you are going to do. the tearing apart feeling is coming from still trying to justify it. coming to terms with it. sometimes it�s harder to not look for reasons. 12:06 p.m. - Jul. 04, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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