mybestkungfu's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- bigger better faster more my life has always been summed up to � whatever i�m doing � i wish i was doing something else�. something better � more worth while� something bigger, something better, something faster, something MORE... In terms of relationships � in terms of school � in terms of what the hell i ordered for dinner at a restaurant. �I want the chicken � but the salmon is good. the chicken looks good � but the salmon could be better�� And i always think �Oh i�ll buy/do/have this (insert Option A) and i always end up saying �I wish i was doing/buying/having this (insert Option B). And it�s a frustrating thing � to always be unsatisfied � to always be searching. It seems that it boils down to: a) Stagnancy is death. i am terrified of being trapped with decisions that i have made. b) The possibility of committing to something now, and finding something better it could be that i am not confident in my decision making skills. Or it could be because i don't want to settle for sub par. But i know that if you�re looking for something better out there � you�ll find it. And you just keep jumping ship. Changing projects, altering goals, going from relationship to relationship. The dream chasers. The hunters. The perfectionists. People who have great relationships, great futures, great whatevers � but keep their eyes on the horizon. And although that is what makes them not settle for second best � it�s also what keeps them from committing. I know what you mean when you say you would rather have a minute of glory than a lifetime of �good enoughs��- When i read that, i completely related to it. But what about realizing � that not being able to be satisfied � is a form of stagnancy in itself? What if that mind set is what�s holding you back? Maybe the dilemma lies with how much you know yourself... Because you can�t make definite choices about what you want � if you don�t know who you are. And i�m not talking to standard-less losers who are happy with what the hell ever scraps they are thrown. Screw you guys. 7:22 p.m. - Jun. 04, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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